Have you ever noticed that some women seem to thrive no matter what life throws at them?
They succeed in their careers, find balance in their personal lives, and approach challenges with what appears to be effortless grace. I’ve personally always been fascinated by this.
Early in my career as a relationship counselor (long before I wrote my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship), I’d catch myself wondering: What’s the secret sauce here?
Is it luck? Hard work? Or something deeper, like a specific mindset or a collection of subtle habits that many of us fail to realize?
After years of observing clients, friends, and even my own mentors, I’ve come to believe that the women who are “naturally successful” share a few common practices. These habits may be quiet and unassuming, but they pack a powerful punch when it comes to productivity, resilience, and emotional well-being.
Today, I want to walk you through eight of the most important ones.
Let’s dive in.
1) They have an authentic sense of self-awareness
A woman who effortlessly excels in many areas of life often starts with knowing who she is.
This is not about a polished social media persona—it’s about a deep, honest understanding of her strengths, weaknesses, motivations, and fears.
In my counseling practice, I see this all the time: self-awareness is the foundation upon which genuine confidence is built.
As Daniel Goleman, the pioneer behind Emotional Intelligence (EI), has said, “Self-awareness is the key cornerstone of emotional intelligence.” When you understand your emotional triggers and patterns, you’re better equipped to handle stressful situations and problem-solve effectively.
I’ve come across women who do morning reflection sessions—either journaling or simply taking a quiet moment with a cup of tea—just to check in with themselves. They might ask, How am I feeling right now? What’s behind that emotion?
It’s such a simple but powerful habit. Because once you know where you stand, you can better gauge how to move forward.
2) They master the art of setting boundaries
If you’ve ever felt burnt out from constantly trying to please everyone, you’ll understand why boundaries matter so much.
I used to struggle with this myself, especially in my twenties. I’d say “yes” to every request—work, family, relationships—only to later wonder why I was drained and resentful.
As it turns out, women who are successful in multiple areas of life usually get pretty good at saying “no” in a respectful but firm way. Boundaries are not walls; they’re guidelines that protect our mental and emotional space.
This habit doesn’t just protect their energy, it also ensures they have enough bandwidth to excel in the areas they genuinely care about.
Interestingly, a study found that clear boundary setting correlates with greater resilience and lower stress levels.
No surprise there, right? When you can define your limits—like how many hours you’ll work on a project or what emotional demands you can handle—you automatically reduce the clutter in your life.
3) They practice strategic self-care
Sometimes people hear “self-care” and envision bubble baths or binge-watching a new Netflix series.
While there’s nothing wrong with either (we all need downtime!), I’ve noticed that top performers view self-care as a strategic necessity rather than an occasional indulgence.
Self-care for these women might look like consistent physical exercise, regular check-ins with a therapist, or simply carving out a dedicated time for personal pursuits—reading a good book on leadership, going for a meditative walk, or even traveling solo to recharge.
Michelle Obama has famously noted, “We need to do a better job of putting ourselves higher on our own ‘to do’ list.”
Women who are unstoppable take that advice seriously. By prioritizing their well-being, they ensure they have the fuel to power through the demands of their careers, relationships, and personal goals.
4) They value genuine connections over surface-level networking
We’ve all heard the phrase “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know.”
But I’d argue that truly successful women don’t just “know” people; they build meaningful relationships based on shared values, trust, and mutual support.
Early in my counseling practice, I worked with someone—let’s call her Jana—who rose quickly in a competitive industry. She didn’t do it by spamming her resume everywhere or hobnobbing at every event.
Instead, she cultivated a small but mighty circle of colleagues, mentors, and friends who believed in her vision. At the same time, she offered genuine help wherever she could. That sense of authentic reciprocity is rare, but it goes a long way.
I’ve been reminded of Maya Angelou’s wisdom more times than I can count: “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
When women focus on how they make others feel—valued, respected, heard—they form deeper connections that end up opening doors in ways no superficial networking ever could.
5) They harness emotional intelligence
We all know that person who enters a room and instantly makes everyone feel comfortable.
That’s often the result of emotional intelligence: the ability to perceive, understand, and manage both your own emotions and those of others.
As you might know, here at Blog Herald we’re big fans of discussing personal growth and psychology, and emotional intelligence is one theme that pops up time and time again. It’s vital in workplaces, in family dynamics, and even in your relationship with yourself.
High-EI women listen attentively, respond empathetically, and stay calm under pressure. This skill helps them defuse conflicts, build trust, and navigate tricky social or professional situations with ease.
As Daniel Goleman (who else, right?) reminds us, EI can be developed. It’s not an inborn trait you either have or don’t.
That’s good news for all of us: with intentional practice—like active listening, pausing before reacting, and seeking feedback—we can all level up our emotional IQ.
6) They invest in continuous learning
Looking back, this one probably deserved a higher spot on the list.
Anyway… The women who always seem ahead of the curve are usually those who never stop learning. Whether it’s reading the latest business book, signing up for a new certification course, or even exploring a personal interest, they have an insatiable appetite for knowledge.
Warren Buffet famously said, “The more you learn, the more you earn.” But it’s not just about earning more money (though that can be a nice perk). It’s about staying curious and adaptable in an ever-changing world.
I remember a particular client who decided to take an online class in coding—completely unrelated to her main job—just because she wanted to understand the “language of the future.” A few years later, that skill pivoted her career in a new and lucrative direction.
Continuous learning also fuels creativity and problem-solving. When you expose yourself to new ideas, you never know where the next spark of inspiration might come from.
7) They take calculated risks
Some years ago, I might have said, “They take bold risks,” but upon closer observation, it’s more nuanced than that.
Successful women don’t just leap blindly off a cliff. They evaluate, they plan, and then they decide—often quickly, but always thoughtfully.
This is backed by experts like Sheryl Sandberg, who has said, “If you’re offered a seat on a rocket ship, don’t ask what seat! Just get on.” That quote might sound like a call for impulsive action, but in context, Sandberg emphasizes recognizing opportunities, preparing yourself to adapt, and having the courage to go for it when it aligns with your values.
In my own life, I’ve stepped away from safe, comfortable situations more than once: leaving a stable job to focus on my counseling practice, starting The Love Connection blog, and even writing a book.
Were there guarantees? Absolutely not. But I took those leaps armed with self-awareness (Habit #1!) and a thought-out plan, which made the risks worth it.
8) They maintain a grateful attitude
At the end of the day, gratitude is that soft skill that keeps successful women grounded and motivated.
I remember a time when I was juggling multiple responsibilities—my counseling clients, my writing schedule, and family obligations. I was hovering on the edge of burnout until I started a simple nightly gratitude exercise: writing down three things I was thankful for each evening.
It sounds cliché, but it truly helped me refocus on what was going right in my life instead of what was overwhelming.
This is supported by research in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, which has shown that gratitude is linked to increased happiness, stronger relationships, and even better physical health.
Successful women often cultivate this perspective daily, recognizing even the small wins and appreciating the people who help them along the way.
When you maintain a grateful mindset, it’s easier to stay positive, resilient, and open to new opportunities. That’s powerful fuel for any kind of success.
Final thoughts
It’s easy to think that some people have it all because they were “lucky” or just happened to be born talented. In my experience, that’s rarely the case. Underneath the surface, you’ll usually find a set of thoughtful, consistent habits at play.
From self-awareness to boundary-setting, from emotional intelligence to gratitude, these subtle practices work together like a finely tuned engine. They create a virtuous cycle of growth, resilience, and opportunity. It’s not magic—it’s discipline and intentionality.
If you recognize a gap in your own life—maybe you realize your boundaries could use some reinforcement, or your self-care could be more strategic—take a page out of these women’s playbooks. Tweak one or two habits and see how it affects your momentum.
And remember: success doesn’t have to be a struggle. With the right mindset and habits, thriving can actually feel natural.
I hope these insights spark some ideas for you, just as they have for my clients, colleagues, and me over the years.
Here’s to embracing the subtle habits that help us shine, one small step at a time.
