Our language doesn’t just reflect who we are, it also influences how others perceive us. Whether you’re chatting with your friends, colleagues, or someone you’re trying to impress, these everyday phrases can make you sound less intelligent without you even realizing it.
Let’s dive in.
1. “I’m not sure, but…”
This phrase might seem harmless. But if you constantly use “I’m not sure, but…” when you actually do know something, people can get the impression you lack confidence—never a good look.
Psychologists often point out that confidence and competence go hand in hand. If you start by undermining your own words, you’re signaling doubt from the get-go. Drop the qualifier if you know what you’re talking about!
2. “I’m literally dying!”
We’ve all said this. Heck, I’ve said it after stubbing my toe on the coffee table. But saying “literally” when you’re clearly not in mortal danger can make people think you don’t know the difference between real and exaggerated speech.
There’s a time and place for humor, of course. Just remember: overusing “literally” can water down its impact.
As Albert Ellis, the famous psychologist behind Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, explains how we are responsible for how we express ourselves:
“The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.”
3. “No offense, but…”
Listen, 99% of the time, whatever follows “no offense” is, in fact, offensive. When we use this phrase, we show a lack of empathy—and empathy is a big indicator of emotional intelligence.
If you feel you need to cushion your criticism this way, you might want to rethink the approach.
Here’s a tip: Instead of using “no offense,” try being constructive. Maybe something like, “I understand where you’re coming from, but I have a different perspective…”
4. “I can’t do it”
Sometimes, admitting you can’t do something can be honest and shows humility—nothing wrong with that! But if you say it all the time, especially without trying, people might see you as someone who lacks grit or a growth mindset.
Psychologist Carol Dweck famously introduced the concept of the “growth mindset” versus a “fixed mindset.” Embracing a growth mindset means believing you can improve with effort. If you catch yourself about to say “I can’t do it,” try adding “yet” at the end—because you might learn it tomorrow.
5. “It’s always been done this way”
If there’s one phrase that makes you sound resistant to progress, it’s this. Clinging to the status quo can come across as complacent or closed-minded. While tradition is important in some contexts, never questioning it can stifle creativity.
Next time, ask yourself: Is there a better way? You might just discover something brilliant.
6. “Trust me, I know everything about this”
Overconfidence can backfire. The Dunning-Kruger effect (if you’re not familiar, it’s that funny little psychological phenomenon where people with low ability at a task overestimate their ability) shows us that the less we know, the more we think we know.
Instead of declaring you’re an expert, let your expertise shine through your words and actions. People respect humility—plus, you’ll leave room to grow if there’s something new to learn.
7. “I told you so!”
Yes, it feels good to be right. But saying “I told you so” can make you sound smug and insensitive to others’ feelings. According to Daniel Goleman, emotional intelligence involves self-awareness and empathy toward others. This phrase does the exact opposite by rubbing a mistake in someone’s face.
We all make mistakes, and it’s nicer to support each other through them rather than point fingers.
8. “I’m bored”
Picture being at a dinner party, someone’s discussing their passion project, and you blurt out, “I’m bored.” Ouch! Instantly, you sound like you can’t engage or adapt in social settings.
When you’re bored, try asking questions or shifting the conversation to a subject you both enjoy. Express curiosity rather than dissatisfaction. Trust me—it’ll make you look a whole lot sharper and more considerate.
9. “I’m too busy to read”
Reading isn’t just about textbooks or massive novels—it’s also about exposing yourself to new ideas, cultures, and perspectives. Saying you’re “too busy to read” might come across as a lack of desire to keep learning.
If time is genuinely short, consider audiobooks or podcasts—anything that keeps your mind stimulated. Remember that growth-minded people make time to learn, even if it’s in little chunks.
10. “Whatever”
A personal pet peeve of mine—whatever. It’s dismissive and signals that you don’t care. It also suggests you’re avoiding meaningful discussion. Sure, it might feel easy to say when you’re frustrated, but it usually puts a full stop to any constructive conversation.
Better to express what’s bothering you or politely end the discussion if it’s going nowhere. It’ll help you build stronger communication skills.
Final Thoughts
Our words matter—a lot. Famous psychologist Carl Jung once said, “Thinking is difficult, that’s why most people judge.” If we put a bit more thought into our everyday language, we can avoid sounding less intelligent and actually connect with people on a deeper level.
I’m no stranger to slipping up and using some of these phrases when I’m tired or in a rush. (I’m only human!) But with a little practice, we can all be more mindful of what we say—and, in turn, boost how others perceive us.
