If someone nods at your every word, chances are they’re a people-pleaser. If someone never says ‘No’, they’re often taken advantage of.
The world of human interaction isn’t always easy to navigate.
Indeed, the art of standing up for oneself can be a tricky one to master. But it doesn’t have to be an uphill battle. Some folks have found a way to dodge the people-pleasing bullet.
And guess what? That’s all down to these eight specific phrases they use.
That’s right! By the end of this article, you too will be equipped with these key phrases that will prevent you from being walked over. Let’s take a dive into this empowering journey!
1) “I would love to, but I can’t commit to this right now.”
Being a people-pleaser, you might often find yourself stretched thin.
You want to help, you want to be there for everyone, and before you know it, you’re overwhelmed with commitments. It feels like you’re being swept away by a tide of obligations that you didn’t want in the first place.
But here’s the thing. You have power over your own time and energy.
This phrase is your first line of defense against being taken advantage of. It’s polite but firm. It acknowledges the request, shows your interest, but also sets a boundary by stating your inability to commit at this moment.
Using this phrase will not only help manage your time better but also clearly communicate that your availability cannot be taken for granted.
Remember, saying ‘No’ does not make you a bad person. It just means you’re taking care of yourself. And that, in my book, is pretty cool!
2) “I need some time to think about it.”
This one brings back memories. I used to find myself saying “Yes” to things right away, without even giving them a second thought. It’s as if the word ‘Yes’ had somehow become my default response.
But then, I noticed something. Almost every time I would agree without thinking, I’d end up regretting it later. The commitment would either clash with my personal plans or simply be too much for me to handle at that time.
That’s when this phrase came into play. It was a game-changer!
“I need some time to think about it” gave me the space I needed to truly consider the request and weigh it against my own needs and capabilities.
It reminded people that my time and energy were valuable, and decisions involving them needed careful consideration.
Now, instead of rushing into commitments, I take a moment, reflect on the request and only then give my answer. Trust me, it has saved me from a lot of unnecessary stress!
3) “I appreciate your understanding.”
Communication is key in maintaining healthy relationships. It’s not just about what we say but how we say it.
Phrases like “I appreciate your understanding” tap into a psychological technique called the ‘norm of reciprocity’.
This norm suggests that when we show appreciation or kindness to others, they feel a subconscious obligation to respond in kind.
When you use this phrase, you’re subtly setting up an expectation of understanding and cooperation from the other person.
You’re not only effectively communicating your needs, but also fostering a more supportive and empathetic environment around you.
It’s a simple phrase, but it carries a lot of weight in ensuring your boundaries are respected and you’re not taken advantage of.
4) “That doesn’t work for me.”
Sometimes, the best way to make sure you’re not taken advantage of is to be direct.
It might feel uncomfortable if you’re used to always accommodating others, but it’s a crucial step towards self-care and maintaining healthy boundaries.
The phrase “That doesn’t work for me” is clear, straightforward, and leaves no room for misinterpretation.
When you use this phrase, you’re literally telling the other person that what they’re asking of you doesn’t align with your priorities or capabilities.
It’s a powerful tool to express your needs without feeling guilty or coming off as rude.
Remember, it’s okay to prioritize your needs. After all, you can’t pour from an empty cup.
5) “I’m currently focusing on other priorities.”
I’ve always been a big believer in the power of focus. When we spread ourselves too thin, we end up not doing justice to any task.
That’s why I’ve learned to value my focus and where I choose to direct it.
The phrase “I’m currently focusing on other priorities” has been a lifesaver for me.
It highlights that my time and energy are already committed elsewhere, preventing me from overextending myself or diluting my efforts.
I’ve found that when I use this phrase, people not only understand but also respect my commitment to my own priorities.
It helps me maintain balance, without ending up feeling drained or taken advantage of.
6) “Can you help me understand why you’re asking this of me?”
Sometimes, the best way to avoid being taken advantage of is to make the other person reflect on their request.
At first glance, this might seem like you’re putting yourself in a vulnerable position, but it’s actually a powerful tool.
“Can you help me understand why you’re asking this of me?” is a phrase that does just that. It encourages the other person to articulate their reasoning behind the request.
This not only gives you better insight into their expectations but also makes them reconsider if their request is reasonable or fair to you.
It’s a subtle yet effective way of ensuring mutual respect and understanding.
7) “Let’s find a solution that works for both of us.”
Building relationships is all about finding a healthy balance between giving and receiving. It’s not always about saying ‘No’, but about finding a middle ground where both parties feel heard and respected.
The phrase “Let’s find a solution that works for both of us” is all about cultivating this balance.
It demonstrates your willingness to cooperate, but also asserts that your needs and boundaries are equally important.
By proposing to work together on a solution, you’re not only preventing yourself from being taken advantage of, but also fostering a more understanding and respectful relationship.
After all, it’s teamwork that makes the dream work!
8) “I have the right to say ‘No’.”
This is perhaps the most crucial phrase in your arsenal. “I have the right to say ‘No'” is a powerful reminder to yourself and others that you have autonomy over your time, energy, and decisions.
It’s not about being rude or unhelpful. It’s about realizing and asserting your right to set boundaries and prioritize your wellbeing.
It’s about acknowledging that your needs matter just as much as anyone else’s.
Remember, saying “No” doesn’t make you selfish or uncaring. It makes you self-aware and respectful of your own needs and limits.
A final thought
As we close, let’s remember that being a people-pleaser isn’t a flaw. It’s a testament to your caring heart and your willingness to help others. But it’s equally important to care for yourself and protect your own well-being.
These 8 phrases are not just words, they are affirmations of your right to set boundaries, to prioritize your needs and not be taken advantage of.
Let’s not forget the insightful words of Eleanor Roosevelt: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”.
You have the power to change the narrative. You have the power to say ‘No’.
Use these phrases as tools, as reminders, as personal mantras. They are your allies in maintaining balance and protecting your peace.
Ultimately, it’s about finding that sweet spot between being there for others and being there for yourself. After all, you too, are someone worth pleasing.
