If someone displays these 8 subtle behaviors, they’re lacking in basic social skills

Some people are naturally charming and seem to connect effortlessly with others.

But then there are those who, without realizing it, struggle with basic social skills.

It’s not always obvious. Social awkwardness doesn’t just mean being rude or shy—it often shows up in subtle ways that can make conversations feel uncomfortable or interactions feel off.

The tricky part? Most people who lack social skills don’t even know they’re doing these things.

If someone consistently displays these eight subtle behaviors, chances are they’re struggling with the basics of social interaction.

1) They dominate conversations without noticing

Some people love to talk—but there’s a difference between being talkative and completely taking over a conversation.

A person lacking social skills often doesn’t realize when they’re monopolizing the discussion. They might interrupt frequently, steer every topic back to themselves, or ignore cues that others want to speak.

The result? People feel unheard and frustrated.

Conversations should be a two-way street, and those who don’t pick up on this basic rule can come across as self-absorbed or inconsiderate—without even meaning to.

2) They don’t pick up on social cues

I once had a coworker who never seemed to notice when people were uncomfortable.

He’d stand too close during conversations, ramble on when others were clearly trying to wrap things up, and completely miss when jokes were meant to be lighthearted.

At first, I thought he was just being rude. But over time, I realized he simply didn’t pick up on the small, unspoken signals that guide social interactions—things like body language, tone of voice, or subtle shifts in conversation.

Socially skilled people naturally adjust based on these cues. But when someone consistently misses them, it can make interactions feel awkward or even frustrating for those around them.

3) They rarely make eye contact

Eye contact plays a huge role in human connection. It helps build trust, shows engagement, and makes conversations feel more natural.

Yet some people struggle with it—either avoiding eye contact altogether or holding it for too long in a way that feels unsettling.

In fact, research suggests that most people find around three to five seconds of eye contact at a time to be the most comfortable during a conversation.

When someone consistently fails to meet others’ eyes, it can make them seem disinterested, distracted, or even deceptive.

On the other hand, intense, unbroken eye contact can come across as aggressive. Striking the right balance is a key part of effective social interaction.

4) They overshare personal details

There’s a time and place for deep conversations, but some people skip the small talk and dive straight into highly personal topics—often with people they barely know.

They might share intimate details about their relationships, health issues, or past traumas without considering whether the other person is comfortable or even interested.

While openness can build connections, oversharing too soon can have the opposite effect, making interactions feel awkward or overwhelming.

Socially skilled people understand boundaries. They read the situation and gradually build trust before revealing personal details, rather than unloading everything at once.

5) They don’t ask questions about others

Conversation isn’t just about talking—it’s about listening, too. When someone never asks questions or shows interest in others, it can feel like they don’t really care.

Everyone wants to feel seen and heard. A simple “How was your day?” or “What do you think?” can go a long way in making someone feel valued.

But people who lack social skills often miss this. They might talk at length about themselves but rarely invite others into the conversation.

Good communication is a two-way street. When someone makes the effort to ask, listen, and engage, it strengthens relationships and makes interactions more meaningful.

6) They struggle to adapt to different social settings

Social situations aren’t all the same. The way you chat with close friends is different from how you’d speak in a work meeting or at a family gathering.

But some people don’t adjust—they use the same tone, language, and behavior no matter where they are.

This can lead to awkward moments. A joke that works in a casual setting might come off as unprofessional at work. A formal, serious demeanor might feel out of place at a relaxed get-together.

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Reading the room and adapting is an important social skill. When someone doesn’t do this, they might not even realize why interactions feel strained or why others seem distant.

7) They frequently misinterpret humor

Humor is a big part of social interaction, but not everyone picks up on it the same way.

Some people take jokes too literally, missing the playful intent behind them. Others might laugh at the wrong moments or make jokes that don’t land, leaving conversations feeling tense or confusing.

This can create distance in relationships. When someone consistently misunderstands humor, it can make interactions feel stiff or uncomfortable—like everyone is speaking a language they don’t quite get.

Socially skilled people aren’t just good at making jokes; they understand when and how humor fits into a conversation.

It’s not about being the funniest person in the room—it’s about recognizing the subtle rhythm of lightheartedness and knowing when to join in.

8) They don’t notice when others are disengaged

One of the clearest signs of weak social skills is not recognizing when someone has mentally checked out of a conversation.

It’s in the little things—glancing away, giving short answers, shifting uncomfortably—but some people completely miss these cues and keep talking as if nothing has changed.

This can make interactions feel exhausting. When someone doesn’t sense that the other person is bored, overwhelmed, or ready to move on, it can turn even a simple chat into something frustrating.

Good social awareness isn’t just about what you say; it’s about paying attention to how others respond. Conversations should feel mutual, not like one person is holding the other captive.

Bottom line: Social skills are learned

No one is born with perfect social instincts. The ability to read a room, engage in balanced conversations, and pick up on unspoken cues isn’t something people just have—it’s something they develop over time.

In fact, research suggests that social skills are like any other skill set: they can be improved with practice and awareness. The brain’s neuroplasticity allows people to adapt, learn from past interactions, and refine the way they connect with others.

For those who struggle socially, the key isn’t to feel defeated—it’s to recognize patterns, make small adjustments, and pay closer attention to the people around them.

Because at its core, good social interaction isn’t about being perfect; it’s about making others feel comfortable, valued, and understood.

Picture of Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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