Being a good conversationalist isn’t about talking the most or having the wittiest remarks. It’s about making people feel heard, understood, and comfortable around you.
The right words can turn an average conversation into a meaningful connection.
And the best part? You don’t need to be naturally charismatic or outgoing to do it—just a few subtle phrases can make all the difference.
If you want to instantly improve the way you connect with others, start weaving these simple yet powerful phrases into your conversations.
1) “That makes sense”
People want to feel understood, not judged.
And one of the simplest ways to show that you respect their perspective is by saying, “That makes sense.”
This phrase doesn’t mean you have to agree with everything someone says. It just acknowledges that their feelings or thoughts are valid. And when people feel validated, they’re more likely to open up and engage in a real conversation.
Instead of jumping in with your own opinion right away, try using this phrase first. You’ll be surprised how much smoother and more enjoyable your conversations become.
2) “I can relate to that”
One of the best ways to connect with someone is to show that you understand what they’re going through. And saying, “I can relate to that,” is a simple way to do it.
I remember a time when a friend was venting about feeling stuck in their career. Instead of just nodding along or giving advice right away, I told them, “I can relate to that. I went through something similar a few years ago, and it was really frustrating.”
That small moment of shared experience completely changed the conversation. Instead of feeling like they were talking at me, my friend felt like we were having a real discussion—one where they weren’t alone in their struggles.
People don’t always need solutions; sometimes, they just need to know they’re not the only ones feeling a certain way.
3) “Tell me more about that”
Most people love to talk about themselves, but they rarely get the chance to truly be heard.
Studies have shown that when we talk about ourselves, it activates the same pleasure centers in the brain as food or money.
That’s why a simple phrase like “Tell me more about that” can be so powerful. It signals genuine curiosity and encourages the other person to open up.
Instead of just skimming the surface of a conversation, you give them permission to dive deeper into their thoughts and experiences.
The more you let people talk, the more they’ll enjoy the conversation—and the more they’ll associate that positive feeling with you.
4) “That’s a great question”
Everyone likes to feel smart and appreciated.
When you say, “That’s a great question,” you’re not just acknowledging what someone asked—you’re also giving them a small confidence boost.
This phrase works especially well in discussions where someone might feel unsure or hesitant to speak up. It reassures them that their curiosity or perspective is valuable, making them more likely to stay engaged in the conversation.
And the best part?
You don’t have to overthink it. Just sprinkle this phrase into your conversations naturally, and you’ll instantly make people feel more comfortable talking with you.
5) “I never thought about it that way”
A great conversation isn’t about proving a point—it’s about exchanging ideas.
When you say, “I never thought about it that way,” you show that you’re open-minded and willing to consider different perspectives.
This phrase makes people feel heard and respected, even if you don’t necessarily agree with them. It also keeps the conversation flowing by inviting them to elaborate on their thoughts.
No one enjoys talking to someone who shuts down new ideas. By using this phrase, you create an atmosphere where people feel comfortable sharing their viewpoints, which leads to deeper and more meaningful discussions.
6) “That must have been really difficult”
Sometimes, the best thing you can do in a conversation is simply acknowledge someone’s struggles.
When you say, “That must have been really difficult,” you’re offering empathy without trying to fix anything or shift the focus back to yourself.
Everyone carries their own challenges, and often, what people need most is to feel understood. This phrase lets them know that their feelings are valid and that you recognize the weight of what they’ve been through.
A little compassion goes a long way. When you take a moment to acknowledge someone’s experiences in a genuine way, you create a space where they feel safe opening up—and that’s what truly makes a conversation meaningful.
7) “I know what you mean”
It’s easy to feel alone in our thoughts and experiences, even when we’re surrounded by people.
That’s why a simple phrase like “I know what you mean” can be so powerful—it reminds us that we’re not the only ones who feel a certain way.
There have been times when I’ve struggled with self-doubt, questioning whether I was making the right choices or if I was even good enough.
And in those moments, hearing someone say, “I know what you mean,” made all the difference. It wasn’t about offering advice or solutions—it was just knowing that someone else understood.
Sometimes, the best conversations aren’t about saying something profound. They’re about making the other person feel less alone.
8) “I appreciate you sharing that”
Opening up isn’t always easy. When someone shares something personal—whether it’s a struggle, a memory, or even just an honest opinion—they’re taking a risk.
A simple “I appreciate you sharing that” acknowledges that trust and makes them feel safe in the conversation.
People want to know that their words matter, that what they say isn’t just heard but valued. This phrase does exactly that. It reassures them that they’re not being judged and encourages more open, meaningful discussions.
When you make people feel comfortable enough to share, you turn small talk into real connection.
9) “What do you think?”
A great conversation isn’t just about listening—it’s about making the other person feel like their thoughts matter.
Asking, “What do you think?” invites them to share their perspective and shows that you genuinely care about their opinion.
People don’t always get asked what they think. They’re used to being talked at, not engaged with.
But when you actively seek out their thoughts, you make them feel seen, heard, and valued. And that’s what truly makes someone want to keep the conversation going.
Bottom line: Words shape connection
The way we communicate isn’t just about what we say—it’s about how we make others feel. Conversations aren’t just exchanges of words; they’re moments of connection, understanding, and trust.
Research in social psychology has shown that feeling heard and validated strengthens relationships and builds rapport.
Something as simple as the right phrase at the right time can shift a conversation from surface-level small talk to something truly meaningful.
Every interaction is an opportunity to make someone feel valued. And sometimes, the smallest words can leave the biggest impact.
