My name is Augustine and I am an addict, a blogging addict. I dream at night of things I have blogged, should blog or did not blog. I ruminate on comments that have been made or have not been made on my blog or that I might make or will make in other blogs. I check my stats more than once a day. More than twice a day. Allright, I check my stats a lot. I also check my Technorati rati quite a lot. I read the newspapers and feel guilty that I am not blogging about the news because nobody will know what’s going on in the world if I don’t blog about it. It’s my duty to blog about all the injustice and lies and horror because if people don’t read it in my blog then they won’t know it’s happening. It’s also my duty to blog about the meaning of life and everything because if it’s not in my blog then where are people going to find out? It’s also my duty to translate my every passing thought and observation and experience into bloggish because if I don’t then, well, then I’m not a good and frequent blogger and nobody will visit me. I get withdrawal symptoms if I am away from my screen for more than a day even when I’m not blogging – I tap my fingers aimlessly on tables or armchairs and look pale and withdrawn. Enough already. I have decided to go into rehab. But since there are not, as yet, rehab clinics for blogaddicts, I have drawn up my own rehabilitation regime. Feel free to adapt it to your own needs.
1. Blog only once a week, choose a day (haven’t decided which day yet).
2. Check stats only once a week (you cannot be serious??)
3. Visit fave blogs/new blogs only once a week (not the same day I do my blog)
4. Blog only about what I’m good at – eg interviewing God etc.
5. Spend more quality time with real life.
Before I start my cure, I have a message for George W. Bush, Tony Blair, Ariel Sharon and all those who, under whatever flag or pretext or ideology or lie or fanaticism or blindness, are driving the world to ruin:
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO !!!!!!!!!!
Natalie d’Arbeloff is the author of: BLAUGUSTINE and a regular contributor to the Blog Herald.